“Don’t you look sexy,” my boyfriend said to me the other night with a half-smile on his face. Sensing loving sarcasm from him, I made my way to the closest mirror to see how bad it had gotten. Yep, the usual. Oversized tacky shirt paired with pajamas bottoms that didn’t match. My hair was tied up in something that resembled a bun… except half of it was hanging down because I was too lazy to secure it all on top of my head. I was also proudly sporting two different socks, one of which had holes in them. I have developed a daily routine of rotating between fitness clothes for my virtual training, and a quick change to “lounge wear” for my nightly comfort. Nightly comfort starts about 6pm, and with luck I can be in bed by 8pm. This, I thought, is not so good.
I must admit, the first few weeks of not caring what I looked like was refreshing. The two week stretch of not washing my hair was an interesting experiment. I won’t be doing that again. And I was kinda digging the camper Cathy look that I was sporting daily. No nail salon, no hair salon, no heels, no makeup, and no guilt seemed to be the rule for everyone, so I wasn’t feeling out of place. All the pressures we can feel as a woman to stay looking “pretty” were gone. Now that the novelty has worn off, I have to admit, I’m growing tired of this new normal. I miss putting myself together in the morning and starting my day. I miss my routine. And while everyone has been affected differently during this time, I recognize and admit that this pandemic has finally taken its toll on me. And I really don’t like it. As things are opening and people are choosing to get back out, as much as I have enjoyed my granola girl days, I’m bringing sexy back.
Now, let me first say that bringing sexy back doesn’t mean me dressing up in skimpy lingerie with stiletto heels and prancing around my living room. In the past two months I’ve had my 23- year- old daughter move back in and my mother move one floor above me. There will be no lingerie and heels around here…like ever! I feel I’m pushing it with daisy dukes and a tank top around the home. Sexy to me is more of an attitude, a confidence, a boldness if you will. It’s a desire to start your day off feeling and looking your best, boosting yourself up with positivity, and making a calculated decision to have an incredible day. It’s letting people see and feel your strength, while spreading your energy to others. While that may not be Webster’s definition of sexy, it is how I define it.
I have always adapted well to change. I am usually one that can roll with the punches. I am also one that knows when it’s time to reclaim my identity and hit the restart button. And that time is now. I’m taking back control of my life. Control of what defines me, my days, and control of what I let affect me.
So, if you are feeling the need to get your sexy, your spark, your motivation, your inner self, whatever you want to call it, back – I feel you. And even though things are opening back up, and society is trying to move forward, we are conflicted. Feeling each other’s pain and seeing each other struggle, collectively we want a peaceful and a healthy society. So, during the unknown, we may have to learn to manage our emotions differently; to practice more patience, to dream new dreams.
For the first time in months, I am excited again. I have reinvented my business; I have a new website, a new program, and best of all, a new outlook. Peoples’ lives have changed for some permanently. Society is experiencing a new normal, and our day to day continues to change. For me, it’s time to refocus my energy into what makes me tick. So, perhaps with a slight adjustment in my attitude, I can still have those baggy jammies on with my oversized top, and the next time my boyfriend says “don’t you look sexy,” my reply will be, “you are darn right!”
